What we say and how we say it can be music to our love. Positive communication is a strong builder of relationships while, in our opinion, the number one destroyer of a relationship is criticism. Criticism according to Webster’s is the act of making judgments; the act of finding fault; censuring; disapproval.

We already get way too much criticism. We receive criticism from parents, family members, employers, coworkers, advertisers and the media, etc. All criticism has one thing in common, it is all unwelcome.

A couple’s relationship is the one area that should be safe and free from criticism.

We need to choose our words carefully. The words we choose can and do hurt ourselves as well as others. How we say things really matters, especially in an intimate relationship. Rephrasing statements by using "I" or "we" instead of "you" helps in removing blame and can invite and open up positive communications with our partners if phrased in a non-threatening way. Some examples follow: Criticism: You never listen to me!

Rephrased: I would like to spend some time together to better understand each other.

Criticism: You never do anything to help around the house. Rephrased: How might we share the chores so that neither of us feels overburdened?

Criticism: You never tell me you love me. Rephrased: I love you and I feel so good when I hear you say the words "I love you." Could you say them more often?

Criticism: You never make love to me or show me any affection. Rephrased: I hope you feel as good as I do when we are affectionate. In what ways might we share that more often?

In order for a relationship to be ideal and lasting each person must be RESPECTFUL towards the other. Respectful according to Webster’s means: to feel or show honor or esteem for; hold in high regard; to consider or treat with deference or dutiful regard. We recommend that you put the following words to action: R -- respectful, responsible, reassure E -- educate, encourage, evolve S -- sincere, sympathetic, support P -- praise, practice, patience E -- encouragement, enjoyment, enthusiasm C -- communicate, cuddle, compliment T -- truth, trust, tenderness F -- faithfulness, fulfillment, fun U -- understand, unite, uplift L -- listen, learn, love, laugh (Source: positive-way.com)